Monday, 18 May 2015

Ears not working, Agh !

Hello to everyone who has continued to look for new posts ! I apologise for my absence over the last month or so. Life and work has been very busy since I had a break after Song School, and I don't seem to have had much in the way of 'writing time'.

Actually I decided to get back into it today as I have had to cancel my teaching ! For the last week I have been almost completely deaf. A worrying and odd happening for a person whose whole livelihood and vocation is bound up with my ability to hear fine changes in a voice.

I have had badly blocked ears which I could not shift, and was beginning to think I was destined for deafness, or at least partial hearing for the rest of my natural life! Most of my friends did tell me not to be so dramatic about it - I even asked one if one would get disability allowances if one could not fulfil ones natural work ! I was roundly told to get on with the treatment and wait until I could be seen by a doctor !

Tonight I am going to the local hospital to see if they can remove the blockage, or if it is internal.

Altogether slightly worrying and very unnerving. I did teach a little last week and found myself totally disorientated by the 'bending' sounds on the piano, and the muffled tone quality from the singers. The keys seemed to waver by a good quarter tone so one minute I was hearing one key and the next, another. The resonance seemed very painful, as if the sound was somehow caught in between the blockage and my eardrum and I could not easily distinguish sharp or flat........what a disaster!

I have lived with this severe disability for about 9 days now and will forever be totally compassionate about those folk who have the misfortune to be hard of hearing. I felt outside the world and outside of conversations. It was very tiring to keep asking what was being said, or to listen so intently I was almost lip reading as much as hearing. By the end of the day I was exhausted. It has been a salutary lesson and not one I will forget in a hurry. I used to get quite short with my poor old Dad as his hearing became less and less acute, and now that I understand how isolating one feels, I have a little ripple of guilt for not being empathetic !

So you see, singing teaching has not been much of an option for the last days, only an object lesson in compassion !

Hopefully by later this evening I will be able to hear properly, function normally and give thanks for medical intervention.

Fingers crossed


UPDATE - the wonders of the British NHS sorted out the problem and I have my hearing back - a little sore ear drums but I can teach tomorrow !

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